SoMiley Cyrus&8216; creepy-looking myspace-core brotherTracehas a solo project calledAshland High, which according to its press release, &8220;consist[s] of pop, dubstep, r&b and rock.&8221; Because he wanted to &8220;give back to his ns,&8221; he released a new album for free on New Year&8217;s Eve, alongside a music video for lead single &8220;Jealous Lover.&8221; Here are my reactions to said video, IN REAL TIME, with some additional thoughts from b5 editorial directorMeghan Keane.
0:09: Sirens like something bad has happened. What was it?
0:15: Cop plays with iPhone.
0:24: Cop still playing with iPhone. If I wasn&8217;t paying attention, would think this was an iPhone commercial I had to watch before the actual video starts. Are we to believe this iPhone was the sole survivor of a tal car crash?
Meghan weighs in:It is awesome that the cop has picked up this phone from a crash and decides to check out this person&8217;s videos. Isn&8217;t that creepy?Me: I guess he is looking for clues?
0:32: Uncomfortable &8220;y&8221; shots of Trace dancing with girl. Feel bad saying this, but Trace Cyrus really should not smile.
Meghan: It&8217;s cool that he&8217;s dating Kat Dennings, even though he is disfigured by bad tattoos.
0:38: Spirit hood sighting!
0:48: Is he going to sing in that computer-y elf voice this whole time?
1:10: iPhone continues to figure heavily into the plot.
1:15: Emotional breakdown! This guy makesGood Charlottelook likeSlayer.
Meghan: Aw, he brought her a cupcake.
1:48: Spirit hood continues to battle withmiley cyrus iPhone over title of &8220;most charismatic thing in this video.&8221;
1:52: Don&8217;t smoke pot and drive, kids.
1:58: And now they are drinking. Uh oh&8230;
2:26:Meghan: Oh, Kat Dennings is pissed. But now she looks like a brunetteBlake Lively.
2:48: She threw the iPhone off the roof! How will he post pictures of himself to Facebook now? THIS MEANS WAR.
3:00: I didn&8217;t know it was possible for a song&8217;s instrumentation to be this minimal and yet so annoying. Maybe half the tones are in that upper register only tweens and dogs can hear?
3:24: Is &8220;playing to win&8221; referring to his 2-player bro-down with spirit hood?
3:25: The iPhone came back! It really is immortal!
3:50: Unfortunately, our teen protagonists are not.
Meghan: That&8217;s convenient that he was filming their final fight.
Meghan: Is this a Students Against Drunk Driving Commercial? Or does he die because he is singing while driving?
Me: Students Against Singing While Driving. SASWD.
Meghan: Does the driver that hit them hate this song? Because he totally randomly swerved into them.
Me: Maybe. Let&8217;s check the
